Accepting a Love I Do Not Understand

‘Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.’ (John 15:13 ESV)

 ‘Each of us is designed for deep, experienced, intimate friendship with God. It’s what we all long for most in the core of our being.’ (Jon Bloom)

My friend is so faithful. He sticks with me through all my dark days, is committed to me even when I mess up, and delights in our open-hearted conversations. He knows me better than I know myself and loves me more than anyone else ever could. I couldn’t imagine my life without Him.

Yet, despite all of this, sometimes I live like I’m still His enemy.  Yes, I know this is sad, but it’s true! I pray it’s not the same for you but let me explain and then you decide if you’re more like me than you thought.

It all began when I was His enemy. I was selfish and stubborn and everything I did was deserving of His wrath. (Sounds harsh, I know, but we all start out that way.) I did absolutely nothing to enamor Him to me, yet He suffered for me, welcomed me into His family, and called me His friend.

Pointing to the cross, He urged me to see it as His willing sacrifice for me—His treasured friend. Taking upon Himself the punishment I deserved, He opened the door to an everlasting friendship I now get to enjoy.  

‘But God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.’ (Romans 5:8)

‘Christ wants us to view the cross as an affection-filled sacrifice for friends.’ (Drew Hunter)

Did I mention already that He did all this while I was His enemy?

Yep, it’s a love I do not understand.

He calls me to live within this circle of friendship, thankful for a God who loves me wholly not because of anything I have done or could ever do but all because of who He is.

Yet, sometimes I slip back into enemy territory. It happens so subtly; I don’t notice it at first. One minute I’m taking God at His word, and the next, I’m behaving like the worst kind of enemy—one who pretends to be a friend. 

Here are some of the ways I exhibit enemy behavior:

He calls me to come and sit with Him for one of our heart-to-heart talks, and rather than being open and honest I obsess over having the ‘right’ words to say.

I hold back some of my deepest thoughts, worrying that He would be disappointed and withdraw His friendship.

I become so self-reliant; I don’t bother to ask for His help anymore.

I doubt His love for me and try to earn His favor through a works-based approach.

I wallow in guilt over not doing something I feel I should be doing for Him.

I rely solely on self-control in my battle against sin, doubt if victory is even possible, and ignore the power the cross grants me over sin.

I excuse my disobedience in what I like to call ‘minor’ matters.

Is it just me, or can you relate to any of these? Do you sometimes live in a way that nullifies the cross and brings self to the surface?

‘For many, of whom I have often told you and now tell you even with tears, walk as enemies of the cross of Christ.’ (Philippians3:18 ESV)

It’s as if my ego is shouting, “No, the cross isn’t enough. There must be something more that I could do to gain God’s acceptance.”  

I have no excuse for this detestable behavior as God’s word is bursting with truth-filled reminders for me, and I’m shocked and relieved every time I realize that His love for me remains unchanged.

How can I fully accept and live in this truth God so often whispers to me?

Perhaps it starts by recognizing that He’s not like me. That in fact, there is none like Him who offers this kind of unconditional love.

God’s grace is not earned. His mysterious, welcoming love while I was still estranged from Him humbles me yet lifts me up at the same time. It inspires and empowers me to obey Him wholly.

Yes, when I accept this miraculous gift of friendship with God, the Creator and Sustainer of all living things, I enjoy a sense of peace, purpose, and power.

I want to live in that space, amazed that He calls me His a friend and assured of His never-ending love.

What about you?

Do you catch yourself living as an enemy of the cross, 

trying to get right with God in your own way? 

Or pulling yourself up by the bootstraps in your battle against sin? 

Have you accepted the unconditional love of God?

How can you enjoy God’s gift of friendship today?

Grace and peace to you,
Carlie

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Accepting a Love I Do Not Understand