I lay in my hotel bed, pen in
hand, trying to figure out what I would say.
Where were the words?
Words that would string together
the years of prayers and tears, hopes and fears, and give him wings to fly. Words
that would slip seamlessly underneath and bear him up when life pulls him down.
Words that would echo in his ears, pulling him away from danger when
temptations lurk near. Words that would encourage, inspire, warn, guide but most
importantly love.
Where were the words?
In just a few short days, I would
be returning home without my teen aged son. He would literally be on his own.
For the first time in his life. On. His. Own.
Oh, how I wanted to leave him
with the right words.
Words that would be a rock to
stand on, a pillow to rest on, and a friend to hold close.
As I stood on the brink of a
‘never-before’, I searched for these words.
What words would you have used?
What would you have said?
When the words started to flow
they wouldn’t stop. Dripping from my heart they filled page after page; there was
always something more to share.
But then I paused. This was not
the time to waste words.
I reflected on what I had written…
‘I encourage you to always be thankful. Each day is filled with many good gifts; we just sometimes must look for them. Always give God thanks for something… everyday… even on the down days.’
‘Please don’t ever ‘turn your back’ on God…’
‘I’m thankful for Jesus who willingly took on the wrath that I deserved so now I don’t have to. I can live freely – free from fear and happy.’
‘You can always come to me no matter what.’
I looked at the words that had
dripped through my fingers and I wondered, ‘Was this all just noise?’
You see, as I lay there writing
to my first born, I became acutely aware of the sound our lives make.
As one who professes to follow
Christ, is my life-song music to the ears or simply noise?
Do I live my faith out loud? Or does
it look like just empty words?
Does my relationship with Christ
impact all aspects of my life? My relationships? My goals? My reactions to life’s
challenges?
As Christians, when our actions
mirror our words of faith, the beautiful authenticity displayed is almost
melodic as it gently calls, ‘Come, come meet the One who knows all about me and
loves me even so’.
Music to the ears. Pleasing. An
invitation to know the transforming power of a relationship with Christ.
But then there is the noise. The
grating hypocrisy when sweet-sounding words are betrayed by off-key,
rules-based, judgmental actions… actions that cause others to put their hands
to their ears and run for cover. Irritating.
Harsh. Noise.
I wondered what sound my son heard. From my words?
And from my life?
I glanced again at my words on the pages.
How would they be received?
As grace-filled notes of a beautiful melody? Irresistibly compelling? Or wrought meaningless by the disharmony of my off-key
actions?
I needed to be careful here. If I listened to the
enemy, he would try to convince me that the imperfect harmony of my life plays
loud and clear stripping me of my witness.
But I knew the truth. I knew that there was
another tune evident in my life. The ever-present, sweet sound of God’s beautiful
redemption music.
The tune that keeps beckoning me, that doesn’t
stop singing of His love for me no matter how often I wander away. That inspires
me to live for Him and to share His love through my song (my words) and my
dance (my actions).
'But His favorite song of allIs the song of the redeemed
When those purchased by His bloodLift to Him a song of love'
Phillips, Craig & Dean
It’s a tune that I pray plays above all other
sounds in my life.
And one that I pray my son was able to hear in my
life and that would resonate in his heart as he reads my words.
*************************************
What about you?
What sound is playing loudest in
your life?
Please don’t fall for the wiles of the enemy;
no matter
how imperfect your harmony may be,
remember there is no sweeter sound than a
heart turned towards God.
Blessings,
Carlie
Yep, that sneaky ol' devil would have us think that there's nothing good-sounding coming from our lives. I'm so glad you didn't listen to him. Our songs might not be perfectly tuned but as we follow the Master Conductor, He will allow our music to touch the lives of those around us. I know you've been singing beautifully for your son to hear and appreciate and he's not mistaken about which tune you follow.
ReplyDeleteSending you a big hug 'cause I can only imagine how challenging this new path must be.
Ohh, thank you, my sister! So appreciate your encouragement and support through it all. Hugs and kisses. :)
DeleteHi Carlie, I remember the day we dropped off our firstborn at college and I went through the same kinds of thoughts and prayers. You are praying that Jesus' redemption tune will play above all others in your life, and I can tell by reading this that it does! What a beautiful desire. Keep praying and remember the promise in Proverbs 22:6. Hugs to you!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Alyson, for such a sweet and encouraging comment. I really appreciate it. Blessings, my friend; I have been so blessed by your site.
DeleteCarlie, this is a beautiful reflection from a mother's heart. I also pray that my boys will remember word of grace and not be hindered by the words I've said in anger or in haste.
ReplyDeleteBlessings to you!
Thank you, Michele! So grateful for a God who always welcomes us back, praying that our sons see that clearly.
DeleteBeautiful post, Carlie. Sharing on Pinterest and Twitter. Easter blessings to you!
ReplyDeleteOh, thank you, Sarah! And thanks for sharing. Blessed Easter to you as well.
DeleteAh, it's so difficult when our babies leave the nest! We train them up, but the final product is between them and God. But. It's. just. so. hard. to let go!
ReplyDeleteIt is Anita, but God has been flooding me with His peace. So grateful for that. Thanks for visiting today.
DeleteOh, Carlie! I cannot even imagine the thoughts flowing through your mind and heart as you prepared to leave your sweet boy. I'm sending you Mama-sized hugs across the ocean as I know you must miss him like crazy.
ReplyDeleteI often think these same thoughts. I pray my children see and hear Jesus above all. I pray I share Him with them in a way that only brings Him glory. But just as we are all human, we make mistakes. We represent Him poorly and shine instead our frustrations, anger, or confusion. I believe though, that humility is key to keeping His tune the loudest. Humility makes us admit when we've made a mistake and admit the depths to which we need our Savior.
I'm praying for your son and for you, my friend. And I am believing he knows the Lord well and will follow Him all the days of his life! And I am believing God is keeping him safe in the palm of His hand ♥
Hugs!
Lori
Oh, Lori, I feel like I'm right next to you receiving a big, warm hug. Thank you, my friend. Your prayers and support mean so much to me.
Delete