How to Find Peace When Life Feels Abnormal

Abnormal. That was my answer.

The word, though awkward and uncomfortable, had slipped easily off my tongue.

It was the word that Fear had been whispering to me (sometimes even screaming at me) for the past several years.

Fear. It seems like he’s always there lurking in the shadows waiting to pounce on me.

At times he jumps out at me suddenly and knocks me right off my feet, as he screams that ‘spine-chilling’ word – abnormal. Other times he sneaks up on me, stealthy and cunning until we are walking hand in hand and then he whispers poison in my ears.

Abnormal. Yep, Fear reminds me, that pretty much sums up my life in recent times.

It was the way life felt when I lost my dad a couple of years ago. Yes, he was older and we knew the prognosis, but not having my dad around was hard to get used to. That gaping hole, the sadness and grief on repeat - abnormal.

Then just over a year later, fear and panic give way to searing pain, when my youngest brother could not be found. A seasoned seaman lost at sea – abnormal. A young man gone so soon – abnormal. Life without him . . . without my dad . . . abnormal.

Then there were the botched plans that further threw me off my ‘normal’, but I waved a final goodbye to ‘normal' when I emerged from my refuge and observed the devastation left by Hurricane Irma.  

I had become familiar with abnormal.

So, on the tense and quiet drive back from dropping my firstborn off at his new college apartment, I wasn't surprised by the presence of Fear. Although uninvited, I had gotten used to him being around. 

"State the problem in one word."

It was a random question read by my daughter in an attempt to stimulate thought-provoking conversation, and perhaps fill the uncomfortable silence Fear had gifted us with.

My ready answer bobbed quickly to the surface. It's not the kind of word that's easy to keep down.

"Abnormal."

What is your answer?

I thought it curious that the conversation starter assumes the presence of a problem. But then again, in this life there usually is one. A problem – something that bumps into you, and pulls the ‘normal’ right out from under you.

What about you? Has abnormal become a way of life for you? Does the very word conjure up fear? Have you given up on finding your new ‘normal’?

Well, my friend, I’m now in my latest phase of abnormal. There have been more phases than I care to count.  But rather than fight, I’m learning how to befriend it.

And it’s for one simple reason.

It is within the abnormal, that I find my ‘Normal’.

You see, as I look back at all my ‘abnormal’ phases I see a pattern emerge.

I see a common thread woven through those times . . . losing my loved ones, feeling like a failure, suffering damage to my home, dropping my son off almost a year earlier than expected and the list goes on, throughout all these ‘abnormal’ times, one true ‘Normal’ shines through.

It’s in the gentle whisper that shatters my fear. Every time. A ‘still, small voice’ that soothes my weary, anxious soul with three simple words – ‘I am here’.

It’s in the comfort and hope I find when I retreat to a quiet place to be with Him – my God and Father - and when He reminds me of His love, His faithfulness, and His sovereignty.

It’s in the assurance that He will never change, His love will last forever and no matter what He will always be by my side.

It’s a ‘normal’ I see easier when life feels abnormal.

And the amazing paradox of it all - my God is not ‘normal’. Not even in the slightest.

He is not average or regular or usual. He is above all. Period. 

'For you, O LORD, are most high over all the earth; you are exalted far above all gods.'(Psalm 97:9) 

And He is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think. (Ephesians 3:20)

'Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh. Is anything too hard for me?' (Jeremiah 32:27)

He is, I guess we can say, SUPER-NORMAL; although the word doesn’t quite stretch high enough for Him.

So, no matter how ‘abnormal’ life may feel, or what Fear screams at me, I remember that my super-normal God promises me that His presence, His power, His protection, and provision will always be ‘normal’ for me.

When Fear tries to draw me in, inviting me to hide in the shadows with him, I can refuse to cower, and stand in the light of my ‘Normal’.

And when Fear jumps across my path screaming – ‘Abnormal!’ –  encouraging me to run or fight – to strive with all my might to put things back right – I can stand in the armor of my ‘Normal’ and remember Who fights for me.

It’s the 'Normal' I cling to which leads me to a peace that I can’t explain. A peace that’s not normal, a peace that carries me through my ‘abnormal’.

Today, I'm praying that amid the noisiness of this world, you'll hear God's low whisper and experience that same peace no matter what Fear may be tempting you to believe.

****************

What about you?

Has your normal been knocked from under you?

Are you praying for life to settle down?

Reach out to our God who never changes, 

who is always here, and find your rest in Him.

Grace and peace to you,

Carlie

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How to Find Peace When Life Feels Abnormal