Does Time Have You in a Chokehold?

The pain bubbles up and spills over, as hot, salty tears run down my cheeks.

The fact that I cut so deeply for someone I've never met doesn't even surprise me.

The twinges of sorrow have been seething under the surface for some time now... waiting to overflow.

I peer at her bright smiling face, and feel it again... the aching... the longing... the wrestling with time.

If only... 

one could turn back time.

Pain... it stands at the edge of our 'not-perfect-but-we-love-them' lives and claws and tears with its sinister talons.

No one is left unscathed.

We struggle... we writhe... we squirm... trying desperately to escape its grasp... to return to the time when... pain was not.

Have you ever felt that?  The overwhelming almost urgent desire to turn back the hands of time... just change that one tiny thing that... caused our world to come crashing down on us.

We know it is impossible, but oh, how we wish we could. 

It was just a mistake, a foolish choice. Who could know it would end up like this?

And so we struggle.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm caught in a battle with time, and he's the one who has the upper hand... has me in a chokehold. 

Can you relate? 

Looking back and wishing you could change the past does nothing but fill you with despair and regret.

Not exactly components of living a victorious life. 

So you try to pull yourself together. Waiting for time to soften the blow, you shift your focus and peer longingly into the future. 

But even here, my friend, we must be careful. Fixating on the future often leaves us unhappy with today... unable to enjoy the essence of now. 

You know us moms, sometimes we get so caught up in preparing our kids for the future we forget to slow down and enjoy today.

Or we look longingly to the day when we can... ________. You fill in the blanks; we all have something that tries to hijack our promise of joy for today.  

So what's a girl to do? 

I'm starting to realize that our 'big picture' view of life has a lot to do with how we envision time, and likewise the way in which we understand time has a great impact on how we feel about our lives. 

Are we at the mercy of time? Or is time just a 'tool' in the hands of our Master? 

When we are locked in the battle with time... tossed between languishing over the past or yearning for the future... between the "if only's" and the "one day's”... we can find hope in turning to the only One who sits outside of time and sees it all.  

We can turn to God, our Father in heaven. 

Give Him Our Yesterdays

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up: do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43:18-19

But, you don't understand, it is so painful, you say. 

God says, "I am making a way!"

I am so grateful that God's mercies are new every morning. He is always at work doing a new thing... making a way in the wilderness that is life. Are we looking for it? Are our eyes opened to what He is doing now? Or are they strained on yesterday? 

But, you don't know what I've done, you say. But God says, "For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more." (Hebrews 8:12)  

Can you imagine such grace? Once you have accepted God's offer of forgiveness, let it go; God has. Don't let your past mistakes rob you of the joy of today. 

He Holds Our Tomorrows

As for your future...

Leave it in His hands. He's already there anyhow. 

"But I am trusting you O LORD, saying, "You are my God!" My future is in your hands."  Psalm 31:14-15a

No, we don't have to worry about the future when we are walking with God, but we still do. We are so entangled by our strife with time, that we forget that no matter what happens, His presence never leaves us and our eternal future is secure with Him.

Nor, should we boast about the future. 

Now listen, you who say, " Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is you life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say. "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that."  James 4: 13-15

So, if we can neither change the past nor fast-forward to the future, shouldn’t we make the best of now?

Live For Him Today

Easier said than done, but it's time. 

Time to stop battling with time... to be freed from its strangle hold... to purposely and prayerfully take our gaze off of time and peer instead on our omnipotent Father in heaven. The only all powerful One who is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow, who forgives our yesterdays and secures our tomorrows, who stands at the door, knocks and calls emphatically... today.

"At just the right time, I heard you. On the day of salvation, I helped you." Indeed the "right time" is now. Today is the day of salvation. 2 Corinthians 6:2

Today if you hear his voice do not harden your heart. (Hebrews 3:15) 

He calls us to a life of hope... a life of joy in His presence... of peace beyond understanding and of love incomprehensible. 

Not an easy life, necessarily; there will still be pockmarks of pain and distress, but our view of time changes when we are cradled in the arms of the One who created time. And we live to make the best use of our time for Him... to love those left behind and marred by pain, and to shine brightly for Him in the dark shadows of life. 

I pray that God, in His mercy, would ‘teach us to realize the brevity of life so that we may grow in wisdom' (Psalm 90:12) and that we would embrace the freedom He offers to live fully, abundantly right now right where we are... in joy... in love... in Him.

Blessings,
Carlie

What about you?

Do you battle with time? 

Is your fixation with time stealing your joy today?

Please share your thoughts below; I'd love to hear from you! 

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Does Time Have You in a Chokehold?