These last few days have been filled with hope. A hope that started out full and expectant, but day by agonizing day, moment by heart-rending moment dwindled away. Down to a sliver... a tiny thread of a spider web... but still we desperately clung on .... hoping against hope ... that our hearts' desire would miraculously materialize. Hoping ... until... all hope was gone.
Or so it seemed.
At moments like these, I retreat inside. Crawl up and hide. Alone. Alone with my pain, my suffering, my unanswerable questions.
Have you ever been there?
Racked by an unexpected pain; one that is hot and searing and burns you to the core? A pain that is personal and deep.
Maybe you can relate. Maybe you've been there. And maybe you were alone in your suffering.
But in my loneliness, way down deep in the depths of me, I meet Hope.
Not the hope of this world that disappoints.
A Hope that picks me up and carries me at the very lowest and saddest times of my life. A Hope that promises never to leave me or forsake me.
A promise I can rely upon... even in my darkest moments.
"I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world." John 16:33
My heart breaks. I think of my loss.
And then I think of those who have no Hope... who suffer alone. And I pray that they would know that it doesn't have to be that way.
My heart swells and aches with raw emotion. Pain.. Suffering... but in the midst... Hope... and Gratitude.
Gratitude for God's 'never giving up, always and forever love' for us. A love that is relentless in His pursuit of us. A love that is not earned, but gifted. A love that knows no bounds and can never be defeated. Never.
And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8: 38-39
A love that beckons us to come... just as we are... alone and suffering... to accept His gift. The gift of His presence with us.
A Presence that embraces us, lifts us up, comforts us, empowers us, transforms us. A Presence that, God in his mercy, assured me that my dear brother felt... and embraced. A presence that gets me through the storm.
A presence that I am eternally grateful for.
For my friends, when it all comes down to it, when everything else is stripped away... the only thing that matters... that has any eternal significance is that we understand and experience the love of Christ for us.
So as I sit in my suffering... not really alone... but lovingly nestled in the arms of my Father... I pray for you... the one who suffers alone... that you
may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. Ephesians 3:18And that you may place your trust in Him... the only Hope that endures... so that you may never ever have to suffer alone, again.
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This song - 'Oh, My Soul' from Casting Crowns, seems to have been written just for me... and for you... when we feel alone... but we are not alone.
May you find comfort in its words.
This: "A love that beckons us to come... just as we are... alone and suffering... to accept His gift. The gift of His presence with us." Plus the whole post Carlie, still my soul before the Lord. You capture the emotions and pain beautifully, and bring me right to where the Lord is and what Hope means for us. This is what truly matters. Saving this post to come back to again and again. Thank you!!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Bethany!
DeleteI'm so grateful for the Hope we have. When words fail me as they do today, I have this!
ReplyDeleteHugs!!!
Marva | SunSparkleShine
No words, just hugs, Marv! And His constant presence with us!
DeleteThis is beautiful... honest... and so full of truth --and hope! Praying for you, and for all those who don't know who Hope is (yet)!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Karrilee, for your kind words and especially for your prayers.
DeleteGoodness, God is so able to use our raw emotions in ministering to others. Thank you for taking the risk.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Michele. In the writing, the healing starts. I hope it blesses others as well.
DeleteOf all the many many comforting words in scripture, the promise, "I will never leave you or forsake you," has to be the most precious!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing at The Loft today and reminding us we are never alone if we belong to Christ. Praying for you and yours.
Yes, Jerralea, I find that one most comforting as well. So grateful for your prayers.
DeleteBeautiful words and HOPE-filled grace is what I find in your post. Thank you for sharing with The Loft. Many blessings!
ReplyDeleteThank you, DeAnna. HOPE-filled grace, yes, that is all that I can hold on to. Blessings to you!
DeleteAbsolutely beautiful--I have felt that kind of pain, and our Father has carried me though just as He has with you. I am soooo thankful for the Hope we have in Him! "We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure." Heb 6:19
ReplyDeleteThanks, Christin! And thanks for sharing that beautifully encouraging bible verse.
DeleteTears, Carlie, as I read this. I felt your heart in these words. Hope and gratitude. The two do go hand-in-hand. Keep holding onto that hope. Keep holding onto the moments God has given you to treasure up in your heart.And lean into Him every step of the way. Sending much love to you, my friend.
ReplyDeleteLori
Thanks so much, Lori! I am so grateful for the moments that God has given me to treasure... and with His help I will definitely treasure them. Thanks for the support and encouragement.
DeleteI love the Romans 8 verse you shared and the promise that nothing separates us from God's love! And this verse comes to mind...May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit - Romans 15:13 Thank you for sharing your heart with us. I love how Jesus always carries us in these times. Linking up over at Grace and Truth
ReplyDeleteThank you, Tammy. That is such a beautiful verse. 'Overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit'... the only way peace is possible. Thanks for the encouragement.
DeleteThank you so much for these encouraging words and verses, Carlie. I love your transparency, too. I'm so sorry for your loss. I gather you lost a brother? May God give you strength for each day! I hope Thanksgiving will be filled with special God surprises! Hugs!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Trudy! In my weakness, God has indeed been my strength! I will look expectantly for those special God surprises. Thank you for your kind words.
Delete"The gift of His presence", that's the best gift ever. I've been thinking about this a lot lately as a few friends and I have been studying a book by Michael Card, A Sacred Sorrow. I hated going through major wildernesses in the past, (ok, let's face it, I still don't love every minute of it), but I found His Presence, and that is ultimately all that satisfies my soul anyway. He is my Peace, my Hope, my Love, my Healer.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing such a comforting testimony, Ruth! This: 'He is my Peace, my Hope, my Love, my Healer' says it all beautifully. Thanks for the book recommendation as well; I will check it out. Blessings to you!
DeleteI feel your pain through your words and hurt right along with you. Loss is real and the grief that comes with it can feel like deep pain. Make time to feel everything and continue to let God hold you close and comfort you. He is truly our Hope and He is the way to all we need. Praying for you in this difficult season.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Mary! Thank you for your wisdom, your encouragement and your prayers.
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