Are You Really Fine Just The Way You Are?

'But sometimes, you can rest and know that you are fine just the way you are; you don't always have to try to be better.'

I came to a standstill and pondered her words carefully. I had this eerie feeling that I had stumbled upon a treasure... a nugget of great truth. I needed to linger here for a moment. I genuinely wanted to understand her and to take the time needed to sift though the dusty layers to unearth this pearl of wisdom.

I had simply said to her that there is always room for improvement. 

We had been in the middle of a math lesson and she had been dawdling a bit more than I liked, and so I had started in, yet again, reminding her that she can do better. It was a familiar tirade. One that I had repeated more times than I care to remember. Not only to her... but also to myself. We can always do better. 

But my performance-focused reprimand was interrupted - shattered by the unexpected, yet much needed soul-refreshing wisdom of a child. 

'You can rest and know that you are fine just the way you are.'

She had not intended it to be spiritual. But it was.

My daughter's words meandered through my mind and travelled down to the soft, squishy, most vulnerable part of me. The stirrings of my heart were almost tangible as I muttered the words, "Thank you, sweetheart. Thank you for your wisdom and for reminding me of a great truth."

I smiled at her bewildered face, turned, walked up the stairs and without delay ordered the next book on my wish-list - 'Breaking up with Perfect' by Amy Carroll. 

You see, there was a message in here for me, buried deep underneath the layers of an innocent remark, and I was determined to dig it out, to let it soak into my mind and my spirit, and to let it work its liberating magic.

And there were many layers. I would spend the next several days digging... exploring all the nuances of this loaded statement. 

'You are fine just the way you are.' 

I knew I was right. You should always strive to do your best. But deep down I knew she was more right than me. My 11 year old daughter had unintentionally reminded me of the elusive harmony so many of us Christians search for. The need to cease from our labors and enter into the rest only Christ can give, while striving to work out our salvation with fear and trembling. 

After taking a few days to wander down the various roads this simple comment led me on, I returned to the conversation with my daughter. I wanted to gently scrape away the layers to understand what she was really thinking when she said those words. 

She thinks deeply and is quite apt at expressing her feelings, so I knew she was ready. We talked about how my love for her is not dependent on what she does but on who she is. She assured me that she was confident of this. (What a relief!) 

Then we switched to the spiritual side of things and talked about law and grace and about how we are made complete in Christ... about how we are not saved by our good works but for good works. 

And then, to prod just a bit more, (speaking in general terms) I asked, "You're fine just the way you are, but shouldn't you always try to do better?"

Her quick reply: "Shouldn't you always think you're good enough?"

We were talking about two different things. Doing and being. The slippery balance that plagues so many Christians. 

She went on, "No one is perfect. No one expects you to be perfect. If perfection is unattainable then why do people still try to attain it. Yes, you should do better, but up to a limit, because 'doing better' becomes a burden. Like you have to do it, rather than you want to do it." 

Now, I got it... the gem of truth God had hidden in there for me.

So many of us know the truth. 

'For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.' Ephesians 2: 8-9

Yet, we refuse to enter into that rest. We don't articulate it, but the evidence is in our actions. We labor day-in and day-out, always striving to do more, to be more, until 'doing better' becomes a burden and robs us of the peace and rest promised to us through Christ - the only one who completed the work that we could never complete. When Christ offered for all time one sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God. 

He is now offering us that rest.  

'There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from their works, just as God did from his.' Hebrews 4:9-10 

So why are we still striving so hard? Rejecting His rest? Beating ourselves up for not doing enough... or being enough? Refusing to believe that what Christ did for us on the cross was indeed enough? 

It's time to stop, my friend, and let the truth soak in and transform your life. 

'Depend on God and keep at it because in the Lord God you have a sure thing.' Isaiah 26: 4 (MSG)

In other words, my friend, do the best you can, then leave the rest to God. 

It all comes down to trust. What are you trusting to make you fine just the way you are? Are you trusting in Jesus's cleansing blood? Or are you trusting in your endless labour and self-effort? Or a little bit of both? 

'God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.' 2 Corinthians 5:21

In the words of Reverend Billy Graham,

'I want to tell people about the meaning of the cross. Not the cross that hangs on the wall or around someone’s neck, but the real cross of Christ…With all my heart I want to leave you with the truth, that he loves you, and is willing to forgive you of all your sins.'

Yes, when you receive God's forgiveness offered to us through Christ, then those words that every person yearns to hear can be true of you. 

'You really are fine just the way you are' - because now you are in Christ. 

You can cease from your labors and enter, with all who believe, into the sweet rest Christ has offered us. You can be confident that he loves you not for what you do but for who you are. 

So, rest well today, my friend, and may this song remind you of the power of the cross to make you not just fine, but flawless. 

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Also, sharing this post today at the #FreshMarketFriday linkup over at crystaltwaddell.com, such a beautifully inspiring place to visit.  

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Are You Really Fine Just The Way You Are?