The One Thing I Must Do This Summer... Fall Hopefully in Love

Summer is tricky for me. 

On the one hand, I'm free from the constraints of a schedule, free to do as I please I suppose, but on the other hand I'm free from the life-supporting role of a schedule. This freedom thing... it's a tricky thing. 

For these past few years, usually by the end of the year I'm in desperate need to be free, but with this long-sought freedom comes a new set of problems. 

I feel lost almost. 

Do you see my problem?  

I want to be able to toss that schedule through the window and embrace the lazy days of summer.  I want to regroup, refresh and refocus. But without a schedule, nothing really happens. I don't want it, yet I feel I need it. What a state I find myself in. 

Is it just me? 

And to add to all of that, the moment I lay back and do nothing... those little fears come creeping in. They start off as a whisper. 'Shouldn't you be doing something, right now?' 'You can't just lie here... there's stuff to be done.' 'You have a school room to clean out and reorganize... a year's worth of lessons to plan.' 'Not to mention all those projects you planned to do during summer.' Pretty soon those whispers crescendo into screams, insisting that I get up and do, and quit just being. 

So, I do what all aspiring life-planners do, I grab my journal and I start planning how to do it all... driven by my fear of the 'dis' state of life. 

Let me explain. 

If I don't attend to my unwritten yet ever-present to-do list, then I would most likely end up disorganized, which then plummets into discouragement. I become disappointed with my less than stellar efforts which leads to further disparaging emotions of discontent and dismay. 

This is a malignant state... the 'dis' state of life, for if left unchecked, I start to doubt... disbelieving the very promises of my Lord to supply ALL that I need. 

It's a cancer that must be stopped. 

You might be thinking, 'What is she talking about?' 'She must be mad?' 

Or you just might understand the dangerous coupling of our negative thoughts with our self-reliance and independence. That prideful part in all of us that says 'I got it all figured out', 'I know just what to do' and then plans and executes and gloats as we wait for our plans to unfold. 

But then they don't. And we end up floating in a sea of disappointment. Disappointment with people, with ourselves and even with God. 

So, typically whenever I've found myself lost, helplessly floating in a sea of disheartenment, I muster whatever little bit of courage I have left, pull myself together and promise myself that I'll try harder, plan better, do better. 

But, no more. 

This summer I've chosen a different path.

It has taken me a while... but I'm figuring out that planning and executing better next time can never guarantee my protection from the swell of disappointment that threatens to wash over me and drown my hope. I'm learning, my friends, that the only balm that soothes our disappointment is, quite simply, the uncaused, unreasonable, unconditional, always and forever love of our God.

I'm being encouraged by Deb over at Counting My Blessings to sit at the feet of Jesus, to just be still in His presence, and that, my friends, is what I'm going to do. I'm going to bask in the glow of His presence, get lost in His sea of immensity and allow Him to overwhelm me with His love. 

Yes, the one thing I must do this summer is to fall hope-fully in Love, for God is Love, and in Him we live and move and have our being. 

Now, if I allow my thoughts to wander I'll selfishly remember the promises... God's promises to give me so much more than I can imagine, a life rich and full, teeming with blessings and full of hope. That hope that is so desperately needed in this distressing world. 

But I stop, I don't want it to be about me; I just want to keep my eyes on God and be overcome by His love. But I can't help it, I get so excited when I think of how His love will flow out of me and bless those around me. How I would love my husband and children more, love my calling and purpose more, how love for God and his people will ooze out of my very pores. It's skin-tingling to imagine, but for now, I'm simply going to freely give myself to Him and trust Him with the rest.

What about you?

Are you free but not quite free? 

Enslaved by your own fears and expectations? 

Or have you fallen victim to the disease of disappointment and dismay? 

Why don't you join me? 

Break the cycle. 

Stop the endless sea of doing and 

embrace your God-given freedom to be who He has designed you to be. 

There is no time like now to bask in the glow of His love. 
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Just had to add this beautiful song!
Hope you enjoy it as you bask in the glow of His love!

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The One Thing I Must Do This Summer... Fall Hopefully in Love